The Unofficial Food Code

Some food have to be eaten a certain way.

The protocol on eating animal cookies is to chomp the head off first before the body.

You do Kitkat by letting your thumbnail run through the foil, then snap the candy bar off in the slit you made, and have a break.

Oreo cookies have to come with milk, otherwise you couldn’t do the twist, lick, dunk ritual.

You don’t just bite into the top of a grilled cheese sandwich and then work your way down. You bite from all sides and work towards the middle part. The best a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich could look like is to have jagged sides as if it were attacked by a mouse.

Pizza is eaten with the fingers so spare the utensils—the spoon and fork is for the pasta, and the knife is for the veal.

The salt before your tequila has to be on that little flat stage you produce between the base of your pointer and your thumb when you clench your fist, with your thumb parallel your chest. Chugas ya.

Pan de sal fails to jumpstart breakfast if there’s no coffee (or milk or Milo) to dip it in.

I remember my brother once saying that when you’ve finished eating one side of a fish, you don’t flip fish over to the other fleshy side, but twist the bone and take it off.

Have a throaty “aaaahh” after gulping down Coke.

When eating pili nuts, don’t toss them in your mouth in batches like you would peanuts. As it takes a hundred years for pili nut trees to bear the nuts, it’s best to nibble into the pili experience, nut by nut.

What else could I think of? I’ll grow this list bebe.